when you love someone

considering how many topics i've started since my 'winter' post and never had the clarity of mind to finish (which, yes, includes part ii of that story), i feel this post will be up to par insofar as having a proper conclusion. i've been in love at least thrice, and i don't take any of those crushes lightly. each one has taught me something different, though interestingly they all share a vital similarity as to why they were unrequited. nevertheless, i want you to think of this post as coming straight from the heart, more so than anything i've written thus far, because everything i have to say [here] is based upon experience.

when you love someone, you want the best for them. you want to be with them constantly to know that they're alright. you want to be their guardian angel. you think of future instances when you will care for that person in sickness, when you will be their shoulder to cry upon, when they will come to you for help.
when you love someone, their emotions dictate yours. when they are sad, hurt, depressed, you cry. when they are cheery, smiling, laughing, so are you. though, when they've been wronged and feel angry, vengeful, violent, you are torn between agreeing with them and wanting to replace those emotions with kinder ones, because you are in love, and to hate others for the sake of your love of one is not an option.
when you love someone, you desire to know them intimately, to know what it is their heart needs and to be able to satisfy that with what your heart can give. you want to know their likes and dislikes, their ambitions and dreams; what motivates them and what makes them stumble. you want to know what foods they love and what books they read, what movies they watch and what music they listen to. you want to know how their day went, to know how they feel; you want to be able to see through their eyes, to know when something is wrong, to know when something is different, to know what they know as soon as they know it.
when you love someone, you need to be with them, because every moment you are apart you're thinking about how they are. even when they don't love you back, you want to be near them, and not just for your sake but so that you can help them should they need something. you want to help them more than anyone else. they receive special treatment from you. they get priority over everything else in life. love is the reason you live, and if given the choice love would be the reason you die.

Forrest Gump: "I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is."

the meaning of these thoughts is dichotomous. i speak both of my love for three others (and a desire to love another) and of God's love for each of us. as a wise old man once wrote, "love comes from God." without God, you cannot love others; you can lust, you can chase, you can obsess, you can envy, but you must know God in order to know love, by that simple definition that God is love.
when you love someone, you love them no matter what. that's called unconditional love. even if they don't love you, even if they don't like you, even if they hate you, even if your mind tells you you don't love them, your heart goes out to them.
when you love someone, you tell them. i've written my share of love letters and poems throughout my first 7-year crush, and my heart was glad to [recently] discover that at least one of them was kept. my second crush was too short-lived to tell anyone about. my third crush, though as strong as the first, was also cut short before i could say anything. i did tell a few people about it, but not her. the point i'm making here is, God didn't just put us on earth and leave us alone; love shines through to us in every aspect of our lives. another wise man, one whom i have known, calls the bible "God's love letter to you and me." it shows how, from beginning to end, God loves man, wants the best for him, feels for him, knows him, is with him. and it all culminates with Jesus's death. there was no greater love than to die for others.

this is my public declaration of celibacy. experience has taught me that there is one relationship i know will work, and that is the one i choose.